ASK KYMBERLY
4.22.2008
My girlfriend gets jealous when I look at others girls, I don't know how to stop. Help!
- Rubbernecker (Toronto, ON)
Hey Rubbernecker,
I can't blame you. It's summer and the streets are filled with hot women. To be honest, even us girls sneak a peek every now and then. Unfortunately for men, 95% of women get insanely insecure when their men eyeball other women. Here are a few approaches to solve your dilemma.
1) The Scientific approach. Explain that your fascination with the lips, hips and fingertips of every curvy red head that walks by is caused by chemicals in your brain called pheromones. Not only is your eyeballing an uncontrollable muscular reaction, it's completely essential to the continued survival of the human species. WARNING: However accurate this may seem, your little chemistry lesson will likely lead to a physics demonstration (i.e. her hand across your face).
2) Pretend to have something in your eye. While you're rubbing one eye, you can sneak a peek out of the other. Only to be used for a quick look. Intensely rubbing your eye for several hours could lead to cataracts and/or blindness. And even worse, you'll look like an idiot.
3) Lie. If you get caught in the act, quickly comment on something you find unattractive about the girl (make something up). For example, "did you see the unibrow on that brunette" or "I think her fake tits are gross." Do not follow that up with "I think you should get a pair."
4) What should you and every pro athlete have in common (beside their salary)? Good court vision! Developing good peripheral vision will allow you to see clearly in both directions without having to rotate your head 360 degrees like the chick from the exorcist. Having bad peripheral vision is like being a shitty quarterback; you'll always get intercepted.
And if all else fails...
Wear really dark sunglasses. With no eye contact or head movement, you'll have total eyeballing immunity. Bonus: you'll also never hear "my face is up here asshole," ever again.
- Kymberly
I really want to get into modeling. I heard it could be really expensive and very risky. Where and how do I start?
- Newby (Vancouver, B.C.)
Hi Newby,
If you're interested in modeling and people often tell you that you resemble Kate Moss (your mother and sleazy guys at the bar don't count), get your ass into an agency like Ford Models and give me a cut!
However, if you're cute like Kristin Kreuk (trust me, she's cute) and not sure what direction you want to take this career, start with finding some local photographers in your area, and get some head shots done. Depending on your look and physical build, there are different types of modeling out there that include the traditional runway, high fashion, commercial print and non-traditional work such as promotional, lifestyle, internet modeling and music videos. The key is to get in where you fit it.
A portfolio is also key. If you're new at this, then most photographers will either charge you a small fee or shoot TFP (Trade-For-Pictures). Usually if a photographer see's something in you, he won't charge you at all. TFP is a way for photographers to network with models and vice-versa to expand their portfolios (and yours).
Once you have a decent set of pictures, sign up for a Myspace page (if you don't already have one) and network your ass off to make good contacts.
WARNING: Make sure you're shooting with legit photographers, who have a website showing their current work. If he's using a disposable camera. Not legit. If his idea of "lighting" is an 80 watt light bulb and a flashlight. Not legit. If his "studio" turns out to be smelly room in his mom's basement (unless that's the theme of the shoot), he's not legit. Google them and get as much information as possible. Avoid, the photographers that try to make you do nudes or "implied nudes." Implied nude's just means that eventually you could end up on a porn site. If that happens to be your thing, make sure you get the right compensation for it. Talk to someone who knows the industry and can guide you through the ins and outs of negotiating. You don't want to have nude pictures of yourself on some bootleg website that only paid you $20 and a bus token. Goodluck!
- Kymberly
I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months and all of a sudden he wants to videotape us having sex. I wouldn't feel comfortable at all. For starters, I wouldn't even know what to do when the camera started rolling. Also, I'd always be worried about it falling into the wrong hands. He's very persistent and even bought a video camera. What should I do?
- VideoGirl (Montreal, QC)
Hi VideoGirl,
Making a sex tape is nothing new. It can be a real turn on for a lot of couples. However, with the explosion of internet sites like youtube, youporn - you name it! you really have to be careful.
My advice for making a good sex tape:
Make sure there is adequate lighting (unless your going for the Paris Hilton effect) and position the camera at an angle that is flattering for you and your partner. The last thing you want is a sex tape that makes your beautiful lovemaking resemble something on the Nature Channel. Role playing with props is also exciting if you're into that sort of thing. Avoid cowboy themes or anything that requires large props. You'll just end up hurting yourself, trust me! Also, resist the urge to get really technical. Odds are you won't be submitting it for "Best Picture" at the Oscars and ultimately the idea is to enjoy having sex.
WARNING: If you do go through with it, make sure you pocket the tape and there are no copies floating around. If you break up one day, that little tape will become a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. Unless you're a celebrity, looking to become one, or having sex with one (in which case you'll probably get your own reality show), then a loose sex tape is just a nuisance. It will almost certainly pop up at the worst possible moment. Like the day of your job evaluation, the week before your wedding or on your little brothers computer, during thanksgiving dinner at your parents house.
Last, but not least; if you're not comfortable doing it, then don't! The only thing worst than doing something you regret, is having it caught on tape. Just ask R. Kelly.
- Kymberly
I've been seeing this girl for a few weeks now and I have the feeling that I'm being played. When we first started dating I was the one picking up the cheques, now I'm paying her phone bill and helping with her car payments. Also, we've never slept together (not that it's about sex) and I can't help but feel like a sucker.
- NoPlay (Scarborough, ON)
Hi NoPlay,
Unfortunately the only thing getting played more than you are the favorites in my Ipod.
Question: Does she ask you for the money or does your dumb ass just volunteer it. With all the energy she conserves not having sex with you, she could be working to pay her own bills.
First off, men set a bad precedent when they offer to pay for everything upfront. Don't get me wrong, women love the old fashioned treatment, but most women today are independent and don't mind holding their own. What you've got is a throwback. I suggest you throw her ass back to the curb and start spending your money on ball game tickets, a new wardrobe and gas for that new sports car you've always wanted.
- Kymberly